Privilege Meme

First of all, I want to thank all of you who added comments of sympathy, commiseration, and support! I'm so grateful to be in this together :-) I can't tell you how much better I felt just knowing that so many of you have been through these very same things.

On to the meme. I don't often do memes (as those who've tagged me may have noticed) but this one is really different and made me stop and thing. It comes from a class exercise being done at Indiana State University, and it now making the blog rounds. I did it, and then I went through again and answered for K.

You are supposed to bold the ones that apply to you. I bolded our initials after the statements.

If your father went to college before you started K

If your father finished college before you started K

If your mother went to college before you started K

If your mother finished college before you started K

If you have any relative who is an attorney, physician, or professor. K

If your family was the same or higher class than your (high school) teachers J K

If you had a computer at home when you were growing up K

If you had your own computer at home when you were growing up K

If you had more than 50 books at home when you were growing up J K

If you had more than 500 books at home when you were growing up K

If were read children's books by a parent when you were growing up J K

If you ever had lessons of any kind as a child or a teen J K

If you had more than two kinds of lessons as a child or a teen K

If the people in the media who dress and talk like you were portrayed positively J K

If you had a credit card with your name on it before college

If you had or will have less than $5000 in student loans when you graduate

If you had or will have no student loans when you graduate J

If you went to a private (high) school K - kinda, part-time

If you went to summer camp K

If you had a private tutor

(US students only) If you have been to Europe more than once as a child or teen

(International question) If you have been to the US more than once as a child or teen

If your family vacations involved staying at hotels rather than KOA or at relatives homes J K

If all of your clothing has been new

If your parents gave you a car that was not a hand-me-down from them (n/a for K, but unlikely!)

If there was original art in your house as a child or teen

If you had a phone in your room

If your parent owned their own house or apartment when you were a child or teen J K

If you had your own room as a child or teen J K

If you participated in an SAT/ACT prep course

If you had your own cell phone in (High) School K (a firefly for when she is at classes - I think she called me *once*)

If you had your own TV as a child or teen

If you opened a mutual fund or IRA in High School or College

If you have ever flown anywhere on a commercial airline J K

If you ever went on a cruise with your family

If your parents took you to museums and art galleries as a child or teen K

If you were unaware of how much heating bills were for your family J K

This made me realize how privileged I have been, and how many more privileges we have been able to give K. I also realized that this little quiz shows some of the markers of "success" in our society - some of which I don't particularly like. For example, the TV in the child's room. Granted, my parents probably couldn't have afforded a second TV, but we can and we choose not to put one in K's room. Yet, I can see how it is a sign of financial privilege, and the purpose is just to create an awareness of privilege, not necessarily define it entirely. What do you think?

Well, it was nice while it lasted

I think I felt good about homeschooling and K's comment for 14 hours - and 8 of that I spent sleeping. This morning we were back to the old crying/yelling routine. We were practicing long division.

K: This is easy. I can do this.

(2 perfectly completed problems later.)

K: What? How do I do this? What's next? Is it 8? 9? 7? 6? Do I divide? Add? Multiply? WHAT DO I DOOOOO????? WAAAHHHHH!

Me: You just did two problems that were EXACTLY the same as this. Did you forget suddenly in the last 3 minutes?

K: WAAAHHHHH! NO! Sniff, sniff.

Me: Well then do this one the same way you did the last two.

K: Aren't you going to help me?

Me: You don't need my help. You just showed me that you know how to do this. I'm going to go take a shower.

K: But what if I get stuck?

Me: Then read the directions again and keep staring at it until you figure it out!
(Yeah, good parenting there!)

(15 minutes later, 3 problems have been completed, 2 incorrectly. K is sobbing.)

K: I can't do it!

Me: 20 minutes ago you could! You only got these wrong because you skipped steps and did random stuff with numbers. (Seriously - she just wrote random numbers wherever!) Here's what you do: Divide, multiply, subtract, bring down. Divide, multiply, subtract, bring down. Do that over and over until you get to the end. Clap and chant! Divide, multiply, subtract, bring down. CHANT, I said, CHANT!

K: Sniff sniff, divide, sniff, add...

Me: ADD????

K: Whaaaatttt???? sniff sniff

Me: DIVIDE, MULTIPLY, SUBTRACT, BRING DOWN!

K: OK. Sniff, sniff.

(5 more problems, done perfectly.)

WTF? I'm losing my mind.

So I'm taking Cher Mere's advice and I'm going to test K weekly on Fridays. If she does well, she gets board games with us over the weekend. If she does poorly, she loses her Nintendo DS for the weekend. She likes the plan. When she calmed down and I told her that I wasn't upset that she couldn't do long division, I was only upset because it was clear to me that she wasn't even trying, she admitted that she really just didn't care and didn't want to do it. Well, at least she admits it. So now she has motivation to care.

Care, dammit, CARE!

A good day in the best year ever?

K and I had a good day today. School went smoothly this morning, then we went out to a great class and on to ice skating. On the way home, she said, "This is the best school year yet. It's even better than last year." !!! Wow! I thought we've been muddling through and struggling, not particularly happy. She, on the other hand, sees that her classes this year are extra fun, she has moved up levels in ice skating, and is learning interesting things. When I looked at it her way, I had to agree. We have a great schedule with a lot of fun, interesting classes. Now if she would just stop arguing with me about getting the work for those classes done! ;-)

Lacking Focus

K and I are having a tough time lately. She seems so unfocused when we do schoolwork. She seems to read the same paragraph over and over, and still not know what it means. At first I thought maybe she wasn't enjoying that particular book, but actually, it seems to be with anything!

Today it was history - her favorite subject! She read and reread the same page, looking for an important detail. There were tears and yelling and lots of unpleasantness from both of us :-( I kept telling her that if she focused and actually paid attention to what she read, she would find the answer. When she finally calmed down and focused, she was fine.

So what's going on? This happens so often now - perhaps a few times/week. She reads something superficially with no understanding, or she stares at a simple addition problem and can't seem to remember what to do. And in the midst of this, she sometimes starts talking about something totally unrelated, and then I've really lost her. Where is that long attention span she used to have?

I don't know what to do, and I'm really losing my mind. When I get her to focus, she does her work just as well as she always did. But I can't seem to get her to focus without her yelling and crying. She always has to shout that SHE IS focusing before she can actually settle down and do it. WHY!?!?!?

Anne, the imaginator

K and I are reading Anne of Green Gables together. It was one of my favorite books when I was 11 or so, and I still just love the story and the beautiful writing. I'm so excited to be reading it again with K.

Anyway, K just adores Anne and her wild imagination. Today she called Anne a good "imaginator" - she just had to invent a word to describe Anne! I thought that was pretty cute, and accurate. How does one sum up Anne in just one word? Really, though, it reminded me a bit of the "terminator" or the California "governator" and I half-expect Anne to say "I'll be back" in our reading tonight!

Happy New Year!

Haven't been writing lately, have I? Got busy with the holidays, and um, Rock Band :-) Really though, I have this big writing project for work and every time I go to write a blog, I feel guilty for not working on that project. Not that I've been working on that project instead - I've just been procrastinating. There's my New Year's resolution - I must procrastinate less.

Anyway, here is the latest video of K skating. She did Macavity from CATS. She has wanted to do CATS on ice since she began skating, so this was a dream come true. The best part was really the costume. It was an amazing collaborative effort. Her coach painted a unitard, a friend taught me to glue on gemstones, and I crocheted (!) the legwarmers, arm fuzzies, and tail. Then at the show, he coach painted her face.

Pretty amazing, huh? Here's the video of K's actual performance. I think it is her best one yet.

While you are over at YouTube, take a peek at my favorite funny videos.

Top 5 videos on YouTube:
5. OK Go doing one of my favorite songs from Rock Band, while dancing on treadmills!
4. LOLCATS compilation video - just love those funny cats.
3. My favorite Bush-ism on education. One year left...
2. Pachelbel Rant - Canon in D really IS in everything!
And last but not least, the video that made me laugh so hard I cried...
1. Misheard lyrics of Pearl Jam - Yellow Ledbetter

Enjoy!